Your Punishments

[Kaels]

Figure out which one you are.
Then punish yourself for being on this list.

The Power Craver

Wants only one thing -- more power with less effort. Any downgrade in power is infuriating. Any upgrade is insufficient.

Sample Quote: "I can't believe they nerfed the pillar of lava spell! How am I supposed to kill twelve ogres at once now?"

Punishment: Forced to admit that no matter how powerful in the game, still works as a cashier at Kroger in real life.
The Magical Realist

Doesn't understand what a "game" is. Constantly makes arguments based on what would be "realistic," even if the game is set in a fantasy world run by wizards and pixies.

Sample Quote: "You can't tell me a Mondlagarian Tiger Warrior is stronger than a Swamp Troll. That just doesn't make sense!"

Punishment: Sent back to kindergarten for remedial make-believe classes.
The Majority Stockholder

Seems to believe that $15 a month buys you a seat on the board of directors. Doesn't realize that a hundred thousand other people are ponying up the same amount.

Sample Quote: "I've e-mailed the developers several times telling them that Fire Paladins should have the axe-throwing skill. They haven't changed it, but they're still taking my money!."

Punishment: Forced to work customer service for an online game company.
The Emancipator

Sees the game as a titanic struggle between the evil expressive developers and the poor, downtrodden gamers. The evidence? Every rule and limitation in the game.

Sample Quote: "I don't see why I have to complete quests to get epic weapons! If I want my second-level Bumblefur Bard to wield the Deathsword of Arat'rak'k'k'k, that's my right! Quit telling me how to play!"

Punishment: Sent to Sudan to experience first-hand what oppression actually feels like.
The Eternal Quitter

Just comes on the forum to let everyone know he's quitting for good and to spend a dozen paragraphs explaining why. Then does it again three months later.

Sample Quote: "For real, this time."

Punishment: Forced to actually quit.
One-Issue Poster

Only has one complaint, but posts about it 15 times a day. This is because nobody else cares.

Sample Quote: "THE LAVENDER STARBELT IS ACTUALLY PERIWINKLE!!!! WHY DON'T THEY FIX THIS??!!!?!"

Punishment: Lavender Starbelt changed to lilac.
The Lifestyler

Wants a bunch of cosmetic changes to a single type of character. Exhibits an eerie level of identification with said character.

Sample Quote: "The Pastry Elves' laugh should be less bubbly and more tinkly. Our giggle should remind you of gazing at the stars as a child, and our smile should make you think of the taste of honey on a cool spring morning."

Punishment: Character icon replaced with accurate photograph of self.
The Deathmonger

Main complaint about the game is that you can't kill everything. Secondary complaint is that the things you can kill don't suffer enough.

Sample Quote: "Why can't I make the baker watch me kill his wife and child, then force-feed their flesh to him until his stomach bursts? What is this, Barbie's Horse Adventure?"

Punishment: To be determined, pending DNA analysis of freezer contents.

[Orden]

I'm not on the list :\

[Wartide]

DEATHMONGER!

"Next person who emote's a hug is gonna get fn creamed ....OK THAT SETTLES IT IM GONNA KILL YOU ALDO!"

[Kobolog]

NO FN WAY! Deathmonger is ME, BURN RAPE LOOT KILL DEATH AND ROK'N'ROLL!

[Vadok]

The Deathmonger

Main complaint about the game is that you can't kill everything.
So you both claim to be Deathmongers...

"God of War"? "God of Destruction"? Yeah right...
There are things out there you cannot kill. Come back when you got pubes.

/hug Rampage

[Shiryou]

No no no. Rampage is this:

The Screamer

In his eyes, no one else can compare to his standards. Why, if he can spent all day farming Flasks of the Titans, 10 stacks of Major Mana Potions and soloing Stratholme for his 20g repair bills, WHY CAN'T YOU!? You didn't come to the raid with 10 healing potions, 200 bandages and at least 2 different flasks?! SHAME ON YOU! YOU LET THE RAID DOWN!

Punishment: Forced to stay away frop the PC for one whole day before a raid.

:D

<no offense is meant> :( :p

[Wartide]

None taken =) however i doubt i would say "shame on you" , "IF PEOPLE DONT FN STOP SLACKING IM GONNA GO BALLISTIC...YOU.... DO....NOT WANT ME TO GO BALLISTIC!!" is something i WOULD say though but apart from that it sums me up pretty well, although i still think im abit of both cause when it comes to layin down the hurt there is only one rampage.

(And for Koboldo's claim at mayhem and carnage i just got to say, if we were both weapons of war you would be a 5 cent cherry bomb and im a 1Megaton neutron bomb, cause thats how much more pain the Rampage lays down in comparison, now go put CoE back up for the rollin ignites and stop trollin)

Also im now officially the ts announcer for EVERY goddamn timer invented


..5 secs to switch..(sigh)...I SAID 5 SECS TO SWITCH WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU STILL STANDING THERE??! (aarrghhh some people never fn learn)..... //...Timelapse in 10 stay put...CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHY ALL THE FN HUNTERS ARE HIDIN ON TL??!...//...spiders in five....web in five....timers are off (again...fuuuck bigwigs)...hold dps wait for next web...HOLD DPS....OK ALL OUT GOGOGOGOGOOOO! (wtb 5k more health to the mt plz, ohshit let him live for 10 more secs or im gonna fookin die...).... HELL YES!! THATS HOW YOU DO IT!.

(Actual game qoutations !!)

[Grolth]

hmm, Rampage, being the father of two children and all..
shouldn't that give you endless amounts of patience and stuff, or are you just using the guild to vent your aggressions ;)

[Vadok]

hmm, Rampage, being the father of two children and all..
shouldn't that give you endless amounts of patience and stuff, or are you just using the guild to vent your aggressions ;)
He's probably just the same with his children. The kids twiching already from several nervous breakdowns.
"Umm... Honey, can't you go play computer or something, and I'll take care of the kids for a while..."

[Kaels]

When rampage speaks an angel dies